Character Assassination

Character assassination is a deliberate and sustained process that aims to destroy the credibility and reputation of a person, institution, social group, or nation. 
Agents of character assassinations employ a mix of open and covert methods to achieve their goals, such as raising false accusations, planting and fostering rumours, and manipulating information.

It  is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration, misleading half-truths, or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. 

Source :https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Character_assassination

Character assassination is dirty fighting, make no mistake about it. It can be cowardly (like anyone who bad-mouths you behind your back to friends or colleagues), or it can be in-your-face (like politicians who make no secret about their intent to wreck an opponent's reputation). 

Who are the people indulging in Character Assassination?

First let's take a quick look at the kinds of people who engage in this sort of tactic, and what you can learn about them.

The Jealous

You used to be their friend/co-worker, and now it looks like you're moving on socially or professionally. They don't want to be left behind, and so rather than let you go, this idiot is going to try to wreck the place you're going to before you get settled in. They're dangerous because they have perceived credibility ("Yeah, I worked with/have known Jane for years...") due to their previous association with you. This type of person often engages in character assassination as a by-product of regret -- namely, regret about losing control or 'ownership' of you (typically after facilitating your introduction to the very area you're moving on to).

The Angry

 They're frustrated actors/musicians/writers who are stuck paying the bills doing some job they hate which is unrelated to their passion (probably because they aren't any good at what that is). 
Don't pay much attention to these people, as 1) they're pretty much angry at everyone equally, and 2) they won't have much ammunition to throw at you because they're too busy being angry all the time, at everyone.

The Devious

These are the most dangerous of the types of people who will try to wreck your character, most of all because they're usually sociopaths. These people don't hate you, these people see the destruction or damage of your character as a means to an end in realizing their own goals. They usually have no conscience or sense of remorse, nor do they care what happens to you after they've destroyed you. 

The Envious

This one here's usually at the root of nearly all character assassinations, and the envious persons will bent upon spreading false information/half truth to tarnish the image of the persons whom they are envious.

What are the modes of Character Assassination?

Character Assassination was extensively used in early days and even now to certain extent by way of spreading false rumours in print media which is popularly known as 'Yellow Journalism.'

Yellow journalism, or the yellow press, is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers. Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.

Popular politicians,film personalities,famous businessmen etc. are normally the targets for Yellow Journalism not only for damaging the reputation of such persons but also for extracting money from them by way of blackmailing that the damaging news will be spread if money is not paid.

With the invent of Computers,Internet and Social media, persons have started using emails,WhatsApp ,Twitter etc. to spread such messages of Character Assassination. This is not only very cheap way of spreading the messages but also a quick way of communication.

Persons spreading such false messages to damage the reputation of their opponents never bothered to think about the feelings of the persons affected.To get cheap popularity in the society they will always try to project their opponents in bad light.

Salvation:

But here's the problem that faces every would-be character assassin, and the one thing that will save you in the end: the double-check. 

Very few people will simply take whatever crazy slanderous thing someone says at face value, without doing their own version of the double-check (and if they do, then you didn't need them in your damned tent in the first place). Some will become more observant, some will ask some subtle questions, and some will ask some not-so-subtle questions. 

Solution for tackling persons indulging in Character Assassination:

Don't fight back. At least, don't lower yourself to use the tools the would-be character assassin has inarguably lowered themselves by using. 

The best defense against any character assassination is to maintain your integrity and take pride in what you do, whatever that may be. Fighting back just feeds the fire, and clouds the issue.

Ultimately, character assassination has absolutely nothing to do with YOU; it has everything to do with the person who's engaging in it. And THAT, should make you feel better and allow you to leave it behind you, where it belongs.

Source:http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/ryan-pannell/character-assassination_b_6017046.html

10 Ways to Eliminate Anger

 

Anger isn’t a useful emotion. It drains your energy and damages your health. It can ruin relationships and hold you back from new opportunities.

While it’s challenging to control external circumstances, you can learn to control your angry reactions and attitudes. Think about how powerful you’d feel if you had this kind of control.

Do you ever find yourself becoming angry over irrelevant issues? Your life could be much more joyful if you eliminate such anger. Make today be the day you start to move toward peace.

Gain more peace in your life with these suggestions:

1. Spend time each day reminding yourself how great life would be without anger. Create a positive image in your mind and keep moving toward that more peaceful existence.

2. Avoid taking everything so seriously. Remind yourself that life is short. Does the issue that’s causing your anger matter in the grand scheme of things?

3. Try counting to ten. Your mom probably told you to stop and count to ten at some point in your life, and moms give great advice. This strategy is distracting and gives you the mental space to come up with a better alternative.

4. Take a drink of water. Again, this will distract you from your anger and give you a few minutes to regain your composure. To some extent, many of us are chronically dehydrated. A little water will likely make you feel better.

5. Focus on your breathing. By focusing on your breathing, you’re taking the focus off whatever is making you angry. A few slow, deep breaths can have a calming effect.

6. Realize that everyone has an opinion. It’s pointless to get angry just because someone doesn’t agree with you. How would you feel if others became furious every time you didn’t agree with them?

7. Decide to react calmly, regardless of the situation. Having good intentions can make all the difference.

8. Think about something funny. It’s much more difficult to be angry while you’re laughing. There’s something funny in nearly any situation. If you’re unable to find something at that moment, remember another time that was humorous.

9. Focus on being patient. Try slowing everything down and calming your anger. Your emotions are much less likely to get out of control if you react more peacefully. Those who are patient have more freedom and options.

10. Think positive thoughts. Anger is based on your interpretation of the situation. Avoid assuming the worst. Positive thoughts result in positive emotions and a happier life.

Anger is a sign of poor self-control and it’s an emotion that rarely leads to a positive outcome. When you’re angry, you’re likely to make unfavorable choices. Poor decisions make life and relationships more challenging than they need to be.

Work on controlling your anger daily. Consider getting professional help if anger is prominent in your life. With a little practice, nearly anyone can learn to control their anger.

Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

        

                     

       Courtesy:Charlene DeCesare ,

Lifehack Expert since Nov, 2015

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” 

Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. 

Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Tips to Boost Your Self Confidence

Self confidence can get you far in this world. Employers, potential partners and friends all appreciate strong, self confident people. It's an admired trait. But even if you don't FEEL confident, there are ways to APPEAR confident, and when you succeed in doing that, you'll find that, very quickly, you actually feel as confident as you seem to be!

1: Practice exhibiting confidence through your body language

Body language is a kind of non verbal communication, where thoughts, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviors, such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space.

There is much evidence pointing to body language as a path to developing real self confidence. A 'fake it till you make it' approach can actually generate real confidence. So stand up straight, don't slouch, don't look at the floor. Pull your shoulders back, push out your chest a bit and have some space between your feet when you stand. 

Also, don't touch your face when talking to others, this is a clear sign of a lack of confidence, don't play with your hair or look anywhere but the person you are talking to. .

2: Smile

Smiling is powerful. It makes others realize you have it good, that you are relaxed and content. 

Smile and let it show in your eyes. You'll see it not only makes a big difference in how people relate to you, but it also, eventually, makes you feel that much better.

3: Make eye contact and keep it

Don't be the first to look away. When your eyes meet another, hold the gaze, especially if you or they are talking. Don't stare, just move your eyes to theirs and hold, let them drop to the face and then back up. Don't break eye contact quickly, people who will immediately break eye contact give the impression that they either feel guilty for something, don't trust the person or are bored.

You can practice this with random people, and you may be surprised at their reaction when you get the nerve just to look them in the eyes. It will transmit confidence and interest.

 

4: Don't fidget

Compulsively moving your foot or nodding as someone else is talking transmits a lack of calm. To develop your self confidence, you'll need to be aware of your body and keep calm. If you feel yourself start to fidget, take a deep breath, disconnect for a moment and count to 3. Then release your breath and return to reality in control of your body.

5: Halt before you talk

When you are talking to another person, listen to them intently, don't cut them off and don't start talking immediately after they are done. Take 3 seconds to process the information, and then formulate a response that is quiet and shows that you really listened. Use specific details if possible. The time you take to think and process what the other person said would make you look more confident, wiser and kinder. 

6: Let others speak

Continuing from our last point, try to get people to talk. Find out what questions they like being asked and encourage them to answer. People love being listened to, and once you do you'll discover there is always an advantage to knowing more about the person than they know about you. Also, the more open and direct you are in your questions, the more confident you'll seem. Just one word of advice: There is a thin line between being direct and being rude, find it and tread it carefully, you want to ask good questions but do it in a kind and offhand manner that'll put others at ease.

7: Don't cut people off

We return to this point because it is so common. Many of us just listen to the gist of what people are saying while waiting to give our own input. But being cut off is annoying, insulting and sometimes hurtful. Besides, you may miss out on important information. This takes a lot of patience, especially when people will just talk your ear off. But once you gain control of this need to give your own input right away, you'll discover it has powerful advantages. A man in control is a confident man, one who can listen to others' mistakes without having to correct them immediately. 

On the other hand, if someone cuts you off, be assertive but calm, and ask politely that you be given the opportunity to finish. Don't look grouchy, they probably didn't mean to do it, just smile and be kind about it.

8: Dress well

 

It's amazing how much we get judged on visuals alone. You can take great advantage of that fact by being always well dressed. 

Get an honest friend to tell you what looks good on you and what does not. Find a balance between comfort and a great look.

9: Exercise

Yes, even in an article about self confidence you won't escape this essential advice. Physical activity is a huge source of self confidence. Research has demonstrated that there is a direct link between sports and chemicals being released in the brain to cause euphoria. 

Physical activity will also improve your looks, which will also add to your self confidence. And don't forget, just proving to ourselves what our bodies can do is a great boost to our confidence. Do any kind of physical activity for a better overall feeling and a great boost in self pride and respect.

10: Remember the good times

One of the things that we rely on for self confidence is reliving the best moments of our lives. Each time you remember that great day - a game you won, a trip you took, a person you loved - this will do wonders for your self-esteem, as well as providing a good excuse to call old friends

9 Things Successful People Never Do At Office

One thing our generation lacks is emotional intelligence..We might be extremely tech savvy, sarcastic, funny, intellectual and totally cool, but we just don’t know how to behave on most occasions. Particularly, in a professional environment. Because we don’t know how to deal with office politics. And we definitely don’t know when to shut up. To solve all these problems, we bring you a guide on how to be emotionally intelligent at your workplace. It’s simple - just get rid of the following 9 habits. 

1. Don't talk about finding a new job.
 
You just don’t talk about these things. It is a no-no. Whether you’re looking for a job or not, it is entirely your business. We don’t realise it, but talking about this highlights your disinterest in work. Don’t be surprised if this news reaches your boss (because sooner or later it will). He’ll probably stop giving you work and then you won’t know where to go.
 
2. Don't talk about your pay package. 

No matter what your intentions are, you come across as a show-off. On top of that, it gives your colleagues a reason to compare. The outcome of this is that people make direct contrasts between how you work and how much you get paid. And you don’t want that.  

3. Avoid sharing details of your sex life. 

Nobody wants to know what you do in your bedroom. Office is just not the place to discuss these intimate details. It makes people around you uncomfortable. Let’s just say some lines shouldn’t be crossed. 

4. Don't mock your team mates. 

You might not mean any harm, but other people are sensitive and can take your jokes to heart. Especially your juniors. Mocking is a way of bringing them down. So, before you decide to laugh at someone, take a step back and evaluate your intentions. 

5. Give up being curious about other people’s lives. 

There should be only one mantra at work - mind your own business. Being curious can come across as being intrusive. And nobody likes people who poke their noses. Why do you want to know who he’s dating or what she does on the weekend? Don’t ask them and keep your questions to yourself. 

6. Avoid sharing too much on social media. 

The best thing is to not have your co-workers on your Facebook. Have them on Linkedin instead. You cannot predict what other people might conclude from your social media feed and how it will be discussed in office. Besides, your actions on Facebook or Twitter speak volumes about your character and you don’t know what impression it will have on your boss.
  
7. Keep your competitive side in check. 

There’s nothing wrong in being competitive. But going overboard with it is certainly problematic. For instance, if you are targeting someone and saying that you are better than Mr. X and you want to replace them, you’re being highly unprofessional. That just shows how insecure you are. Think about it. 

8. Stop telling the world about your drinking/smoking up habits. 

You might think that people will consider how cool you are, but you’re wrong. Instead, they’ll doubt your credibility and think of you as the person who is ALWAYS high. Sharing all this won’t get you marks for coolness. In fact, you’ll get labelled as the indifferent, laid-back and non-serious employee. 

9. Drop the rant about how much you hate your job. 

Never do that, NEVER! You’re opening exit doors for yourself. It makes you a negative person instead of a team player. The boss will find out that you are the cause of bringing your team’s morale down and it won’t be hard for him to find someone better than you. You need to understand that no one is irreplaceable. There are better candidates out there with a better attitude and resume than yours. Get yourself a reality check next time you crib about being stuck in this job. 

Source:

http://www.indiatimes.com/lifestyle/self/9-things-successful-people-never-do-at-office-233243.html  

Author: 
Surabhi Nijhawan

Nine Steps to Dealing With Negativity

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

You may be in daily interaction with negative people, be they friends, family members, a romantic partner or colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can't just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is eating away at you. What can you do?

The best way of dealing with life's challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.

Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don't have, what you feel or don't feel. Once you do so, you'll become a victim of circumstance, and instead of using your time and energy to beat life's challenges, you'll sink to a dark and miserable place. 

Here are 9 smart, positive and effective ways of dealing with the negativity of the people close to you:

1. Give up the need to complain.

Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood. Don't go complaining that other people's negativity is affecting you, because it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to make yourselves feel better and change the existing situation.

"Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in futile efforts."
Samuel Johnson. 

2. Similarity Attracts

Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and if we want to or not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our internal state. Ask yourselves: "How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited, thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?"

You may find that you yourselves radiate misery to the environment and that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of yourselves.

3. Don't believe everything you think.

This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going? That affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your brain playing games with you?

Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and one it focuses on someone's negative qualities, it'll be very hard to get it to see the positive side of things. It doesn't mean it's not there.

4. Focus.

Ask yourselves: "Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am I able to see their good qualities?"

Let the answers come naturally, make sure you are being honest with yourselves.

If you feel like you're insistent and won't change the way you are looking at people and situations, don't give yourselves a hard time. This takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you'll make this step. Remember, we all have good in us.

"It's so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to do it."
Annie Gottlier.

5. Don't make their problems YOUR problems.

For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their problems and becoming negative about them yourselves. If you want to cure negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won't help, just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns. Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.

6. Taking ownership.

Instead of being a victim and judge, blame and pass criticism, you need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a different approach.

"Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung.

Don't waste your time obsessing and thinking: "They are ruining my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my own..." Instead, say to yourselves: "How can I use this for my advantage? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I improve the situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative energy? What do I learn from all of this?"

7. Come with your own positive energy.

Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the other way around is also true. Focus on making yourselves happy enough that you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away from it. 

Remember, energy is contagious. 

How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life and the world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially.

If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the opposite is also true, and you'll be able to hopefully 'wake up' your fellow workers. You can't focus on them both at the same time, so choose - happiness or misery.

8. Be part of the change you'd like to see.

The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep inside. 

Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a merry life, that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness...

We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to change the world. 

Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well, and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain.

Flow with life events, don't resist them, live in harmony and be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others."Wayne W. Dyer.

9. Awareness and acceptance

Work on understanding life's inevitable duality - accept the negative with the good.

Don't harp on people's negativity, don't judge or fight them. Let them be, look and accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you are, deep inside.

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others." Carl Jung.

Source :http://www.ba-bamail.com/