APHORISM

An aphorism is an original thought, spoken or written in a laconic (concise) and memorable form. 

Aphorism literally means a "distinction" or "definition", from Greek ἀφορισμός (aphorismós), which is from ἀπό (apo) and ὁρίζειν (horizein), meaning "from/to bound". The term was first used in the Aphorisms of Hippocrates. 

The oft-cited first sentence of this work (see Ars longa, vita brevis) is:

“

"Life is short, art long, opportunity fleeting, experience deceptive, judgment difficult."

”

The term was later applied to maxims of physical science, then statements of all kinds of philosophical, moral, or literary principles. 

In modern usage an aphorism is generally understood to be a concise statement containing a subjective truth or observation cleverly and pithily written.

Source:Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia

Now let us look at some of the aphorisms:

1. The nicest thing about the future is . . .  that it always starts tomorrow. 

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. 

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all. 

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. 

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water. 

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? 

7. Business conventions are important . . . because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. 

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a cat . . . and you will have a permanent job. 

10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy a car. 

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. - like, it could be the right number. 

13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning. 

14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.

15. Be careful about reading the fine print . . . There's no way you're going to like it. 

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 

17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos in strange places? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo. 

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind . . . and the ones that mind don't matter. 
21. Life isn't tied with a bow . . . but it's still a gift.

Some Not So Familiar Acronyms ..........

CHESS: Chariot, Horse, Elephant, SoldierS.

 

COLD : Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.

 

JOKE : Joy Of Kids Entertainment.

 

AIM : Ambition In Mind.

 

DATE : Day And Time Evolution.

 

EAT : Energy And Taste.

 

FEEL : Formulated Electrical Energy Language

 

TEA : Taste And Energy Admitted.

 

PEN : Power Enriched In Nib.

ACHIEVE: Action, Common sense, Hard work, Imagination, Energy, Vision and values, Enthusiasm

LOVE:  Look Observe Verify Enjoy

TEAM: Together Each Accomplishes More

MOOD: Metrics for Object Oriented Developments

SMILE : Sweet Memories In Lip Expression.

BEST: Building Essential Skills for Tomorrow

 

BYE : Be with You Everytime.

Seasons Change

   
We met one autumn morn
As the leaves unfurled woken up by dew
And the wind blew softly on us as we held hands
Feeling blessed to have found new company

We came closer on a springtime noon
Speaking softly the language of heavens
Under blossomed trees that showered upon us
Its blessings in form of flowers that we loved

We became inseparable one summer eve
As the red Sun bid farewell
Dipping its tired head into the sea
On whose shore we stood holding each other

We said Goodbye that winter’s night
As snow fell and the fire of our love died
Leaving us cold, unloved and miserable
Feeling cursed as the darkness enveloped...


(Poem by my son Mr.Deepak Yeshwanth Saibaba)

Paraprosdokian

Definition of Paraprosdokian as per Wikipedia:

A paraprosdokian  is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.

 Now we can see some examples of   paraprosdokians:


( Readers of this post may give more paraprosdokians known to them in the Comments )

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks. 
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila. 
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

And finally, Words of Wisdom for the day:

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

The Walk

          

  The Walk

Together we had walked once,
Holding hands on the road of life...
Now I walk alone,
As I watch your lonely walk ahead...
Isolation stares at me,
Urging me to find solace in her.
But she also walks with you
From the moment you left me behind.
And then I stopped walking,
And stood alone,
Watching the fading twilight
Wondering if we could walk together again.
It was then that you turned back
To face the old road where I stood still,
Waiting and watching……
And when our eyes met,
Isolation vanished...tracing her path back to her abode,
Then we walked again…
And this time though we both walked alone,
It was a better walk than the one before...
For neither of us had Isolation for company
But shared a new companion – Hope,
Who sat at the point where we would meet again,
As we walked towards each other.

Author: Mr.Deepak Yeshwanth Saibaba( My son)

The Beauty and Complexity of English Language

Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence: 

"I hit him in the eye yesterday." The word is "ONLY". The Message:

1. ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did)

2. I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him) 

3. I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others)

4. I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye)

5. I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs)

6. I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye)

7. I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today)

8. I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today)

Meanings of the word "UP"

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this ..

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.

And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.

In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.

It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.

When the sun comes out we say it is clearingUP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,

for now my time is UP,

so........it is time to shut UP!

Do you think English is easy??

I think a retired English teacher was bored.

THIS IS GREAT! Read all the way to the end................

This took a lot of work to put together!

You think English is easy?? 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce. 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4) We must polish the Polish furniture. 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10) I did not object to the object. 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13) They were too close to the door to close it. 14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.. 19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig..

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

THE BEAUTY OF ENGLISH

This is quite the most amazing sentence in English language.

The person who made this sentence must be a vocabulary GENIUS.

Read the following sentence carefully :

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunication's

incomprehensibleness ".

This is a sentence where the first word is one letter long, the second word of two letters; the third word is three letters long ............ the 8th word is 8 letters long and so on ... the 20th word is 20 letters long !!

English Proverbs

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link
A change is as good as a rest
A fool and his money are soon parted
A friend in need is a friend indeed
A good beginning makes a good ending
A good man is hard to find
A house divided against itself cannot stand
A house is not a home
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
A leopard cannot change its spots
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing
A little of what you fancy does you good
A miss is as good as a mile
A new broom sweeps clean
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse
A penny saved is a penny earned
A person is known by the company he keeps
A picture paints a thousand words
A place for everything and everything in its place
A problem shared is a problem halved
A prophet is not recognized in his own land
A rolling stone gathers no moss
A stitch in time saves nine
A thing of beauty is a joy forever
A volunteer is worth twenty pressed men
A watched pot never boils
A woman's place is in the home
A woman's work is never done
Absolute power corrupts absolutely
Actions speak louder than words
All good things come to he who waits
All that glisters is not gold
All the world loves a lover
All things must pass
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy
All you need is love
All's fair in love and war
An Englishman's home is his castle
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure
As you sow so shall you reap
Ask no questions and hear no lies
Attack is the best form of defence
Barking dogs seldom bite
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Beauty is only skin deep
Beggars can't be choosers
Behind every great man there's a great woman
Better late than never
Better safe than sorry
Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don't
Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak and remove all doubt
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts
Birds of a feather flock together
Blood is thicker than water
Boys will be boys
Charity begins at home
Cleanliness is next to godliness
Cold hands, warm heart
Comparisons are odious
Count you blessings
Cut your coat to suit your cloth
Discretion is the better part of valour
Do as you would be done by
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Don't bite the hand that feeds you
Don't burn your bridges behind you
Don't change horses in midstream
Don't count your chickens before they are hatched
Don't cross the bridge till you come to it
Don't keep a dog and bark yourself
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
Don't put all your eggs in one basket
Don't put new wine into old bottles
Don't rock the boat
Don't spoil the ship for a ha'pworth of tar
Don't try to teach your Grandma to suck eggs
Don't try to walk before you can crawl
Don't upset the apple-cart
Doubt is the beginning not the end of wisdom
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy wealthy and wise
Easy come, easy go
Empty vessels make the most noise
Enough is as good as a feast
Enough is enough
Every dark cloud has a silver lining
Every dog has his day
Every man has his price
Every stick has two ends
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die
Failing to plan is planning to fail
Faint heart never won fair lady
Faith will move mountains
Familiarity breeds contempt
Finders keepers, losers weepers
First things first
Fish and guests smell after three days
Flattery will get you nowhere
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
Forewarned is forearmed
Fortune favours the brave
God helps those who help themselves
Good fences make good neighbours
Good talk saves the food
Good things come to those who wait
Great minds think alike
Half a loaf is better than no bread
Handsome is as handsome does
Hard work never did anyone any harm
Haste makes waste
He who hesitates is lost
He who laughs last laughs longest
He who lives by the sword shall die by the sword
He who pays the piper calls the tune
Hindsight is always twenty-twenty
History repeats itself
Home is where the heart is
If God had meant us to fly he'd have given us wings
If a job is worth doing it is worth doing well
If at first you don't succeed try, try and try again
If ifs and ands were pots and pans there'd be no work for tinkers
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade
If the mountain won't come to Mohammed, Mohammed must go to the mountain
If wishes were horses beggars would ride
If you can't be good, be careful.
If you can't beat em, join em
If you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is king
In the midst of life we are in death
Into every life a little rain must fall
It goes without saying
It never rains but it pours
It takes a thief to catch a thief
It takes one to know one
It's all grist to the mill
It's an ill wind that blows no one any good
It's better to give than to receive
It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all
It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness
It's better to travel hopefully than to arrive
It's never too late
It's no use locking the stable door after the horse has bolted
It's not worth crying over spilt milk
It's the early bird that gets the worm
It's the empty can that makes the most noise
It's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease
Jack of all trades, master of none
Keep your chin up
Keep your powder dry
Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and, you weep alone
Laughter is the best medicine
Let bygones be bygones
Let not the sun go down on your wrath
Let sleeping dogs lie
Let the punishment fit the crime
Life begins at forty
Life is what you make it
Life's not all beer and skittles
Lightening never strikes twice in the same place
Like father, like son
Little pitchers have big ears
Live for today for tomorrow never comes
Look before you leap
Love is blind
Make love not war
Man does not live by bread alone
Many a little makes a mickle
Marry in haste, repent at leisure
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow
Misery loves company
Money doesn't grow on trees
Money makes the world go round
Money talks
More haste, less speed
Music has charms to soothe the savage breast
Nature abhors a vacuum
Necessity is the mother of invention
Never judge a book by its cover
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today
No man is an island
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent
No rest for the wicked
Nothing is certain but death and taxes
Oil and water don't mix
Old soldiers never die, they just fade away
One good turn deserves another
Only fools and horses work
Opportunity only knocks once
Out of sight, out of mind
Pearls of wisdom
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones
Possession is nine tenths of the law
Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely
Practice makes perfect
Pride comes before a fall
Procrastination is the thief of time
Put your best foot forward
Red sky at night shepherds delight; red sky in the morning, shepherds warning
Revenge is a dish best served cold
Rome wasn't built in a day
Spare the rod and spoil the child
Speak softly and carry a big stick
Still waters run deep
Stupid is as stupid does
Talk is cheap
That which does not kill us makes us stronger
The Devil finds work for idle hands to do
The best defence is a good offence
The boy is father to the man
The cobbler always wears the worst shoes
The darkest hour is just before the dawn
The early bird catches the worm
The ends justify the means
The exception which proves the rule
The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world
The longest journey starts with a single step
The more things change, the more they stay the same
The pen is mightier than sword
The proof of the pudding is in the eating
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach
There are none so blind as those, that will not see
There but for the grace of God, go I
There's always more fish in the sea
There's many a slip twixt cup and lip
There's more than one way to skin a cat
There's no fool like an old fool
There's no place like home
There's no smoke without fire
There's no such thing as a free lunch
There's no such thing as bad publicity
There's no time like the present
There's none so deaf as they that will not hear
There's one born every minute
Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it
Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas
Time and tide wait for no man
Time is a great healer
To err is human, to forgive divine
To the victor go the spoils
To travel hopefully is a better thing than to arrive
Tomorrow never comes
Too many cooks spoil the broth
Truth is stranger than fiction
Two heads are better then one
Two wrongs don't make a right
Walk softly but carry a big stick
Waste not want not
When the cat's away the mice will play
Where there's a will there's a way
Worrying never did anyone any good
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink
You can't get blood out of a stone
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear
You can't make an omelette without breaking eggs
You can't make bricks without straw
You can't teach an old dog new tricks
You can't tell a book by looking at its cover
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar
Youth is wasted on the young

Brilliant poem on pronunciation

HERE'S A POEM THAT THE WELL KNOWN MEDIA PERSON PRANNOY ROY SENT TO ALL HIS TEAM OF NDTV 24x7, WITH THE FOLLOWING WORDS:

If you can correctly pronounce every word in this poem, you will be speaking
English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

SO I WOULD RECOMMEND THAT YOU READ THIS LONG POEM ALOUD, SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY, WHEN YOU HAVE TIME. DO IT AS A FUN EXERCISE, AND NOTE DOWN THE 2 OR 3 NEW WORDS,TO CHECK THEIR PRONUNCIATION LATER.

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.

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Toungue twisters

Wikipedia states: "A tongue-twister is a phrase that is designed to be difficult to articulate properly. Tongue-twisters may rely on similar but distinct phonemes (e.g., s [s] and sh [ʃ]), unfamiliar constructs in loanwords, or other features of a language. The hardest tongue-twister in the English language (according to Guinness World Records) is supposedly The sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick. William Poundstone claims that the hardest English tongue twister is "The seething sea ceaseth and thus the seething sea sufficeth us." 1.If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, Say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't Understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand! 2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the Wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish. 3.Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds. 4.A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he Could see was sea, sea, sea. 5.Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People 6.If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch? 7.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been The thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much. 8.Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to A fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?" 9.Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and Called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from Inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", And told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued From inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside. 10.SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES 11.The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside Outside his inside inn. 12.If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the Doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors? "When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the Doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does The doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way" 13.We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the Weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we Like it or not. Watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is Cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is whether we like it or not. 14.Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely. 15.A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the Flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in The flue 16.If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as Tongue-twister twists tongues. 17.Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's Seesaw Before Soar saw See, Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's Seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw. But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw 18.Betty Botter had some butter, "But," she said, "this butter's bitter. If I bake this bitter butter, It would make my batter bitter. But a bit of better butter, That would make my batter better." So she bought a bit of butter - Better than her bitter butter - And she baked it in her batter; And the batter was not bitter. So 'twas better Betty Botter Bought a bit of better butter.