Tips for leading a Happy Life

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.

3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.

7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.

11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.

12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.

13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.

16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”

17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curve balls are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curve balls thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.

22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.

24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.

25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.

27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.2

8. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.

29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

        

                     

       Courtesy:Charlene DeCesare ,

Lifehack Expert since Nov, 2015

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” 

Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. 

Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Golden Rules of Goal Setting

If we want to succeed in any activity undertaken by us, we need to set goals. Without goals we lack focus and direction. Goal setting not only allows us to take control of our life’s direction; it also provides us a benchmark for determining whether we are actually succeeding.

To accomplish our goals, we need to know how to set them. Goal setting is a process that starts with careful consideration of what want to achieve, and ends with a lot of hard work to actually do it. In between there are some very well defined steps that transcend the specifics of each goal. Knowing these steps will allow us to formulate goals that we can accomplish.The human brain is set up to help you achieve goals that you sincerely believe are achievable.

Here are our five golden rules of goal setting:

1. Set Specific and Clearly Define Goals

Make sure your goals are concrete, concise and attainable.You should clearly define your business goals from the very start, which should be  specific and well defined. The point is for you to articulate exactly what you want to achieve.

2. Set SMART Goals

We have heard of setting “SMART goals” already. But do we always apply the rule? Simple fact is that for goals to be powerful, they should be designed to be SMART. There are many variations of what SMART stands for, but the essence is this – goals should be:

• Specific.
• Measurable.
• Attainable.
• Relevant.
• Time Bound.

Set Specific Goals
Your goal must be clear and well defined. Vague or generalized goals are unhelpful because they don't provide sufficient direction. Remember, you need goals to show you the way. Make it as easy as you can to get where you want to go by defining precisely where you want to end up.

Set Measurable Goals
Include precise amounts, dates, and so on in your goals so you can measure your degree of success. If your goal is simply defined as "To reduce expenses" how will you know when you have been successful? In one month's time if you have a 1 percent reduction or in two years' time when you have a 10 percent reduction? Without a way to measure your success you miss out on the celebration that comes with knowing you have actually achieved something.

Set Attainable Goals
Make sure that it's possible to achieve the goals you set. If you set a goal that you have no hope of achieving, you will only demoralize yourself and erode your confidence.

However, resist the urge to set goals that are too easy. Accomplishing a goal that you didn't have to work hard for can be anticlimactic at best,and can also make you fear setting future goals that carry a risk of
non-achievement. By setting realistic yet challenging goals, you hit the balance you need. These are the types of goals that require you to "raise the bar" and they bring the greatest personal satisfaction.

Set Relevant Goals
Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you'll develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals, and you'll fritter your time – and your life – away.

Set Time-Bound Goals
You goals must have a deadline. Again, this means that you know when you can celebrate success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases and achievement will come that much quicker.

3. Set Goals In Writing

By clearly defining your idea, your imagination, heart and intellect can begin to work together to make it a reality.The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible.  So, we should write our goals down.The act of writing our ideas down, or say, keying them into our laptop, will force us to think in concrete terms. It will also spark additional ideas. This is the birth of our action plan. And, goals are nothing more than what you “plan” to accomplish.

 4. Make An Action Plan

The best, perhaps the only, way to turn an abstract goal into an attainable reality is to create an action plan. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as we complete it,and with this we’ll realize that we are making progress towards your ultimate goal. However, we don’t need a complete plan in place to rise to the challenge and embrace its possibilities. Achieve greater success by continually updating our action plan and integrating the new information and ideas we uncover.

5. Stick With It!

Remember, goal setting is an ongoing activity not just a means to an end. Build in reminders to keep ourselves on track, and make regular time-slots available to review our goals. Our end destination may remain quite similar over the long term, but the action plan we set for ourselves along the way can change significantly. Make sure the relevance, value, and necessity remain high.

My other posts in this Blog on ACHIEVING GOALS :

http://svsaibaba.blogspot.in/2011/04/achieve-your-dreams-six-steps-to.html

Once a nurse, now boss at same hospital-Real Life Story of Mrs.Santy Sajan

Mrs.Santy Sajan

I am glad to post this inspiring and motivating  real Life Story of a Nurse who became General Manager of the same Hospital where she worked as a Nurse:

Santy Sajan was born and grew up in Calicut, Kerala and studied in a Malayalam medium school. She had set her sights on being a doctor and although she sat for the entrance exam, she couldn't make it largely due to a lack of finances. Santy is the eldest of four children and with her father having passed away, she had to support herself and contribute to the family pool. With medicine ruled out, nursing was her next best bet. Santy believed it was her passport to see the world — precisely as it turned out. 

"I secured a seat in a Pharma course, but instead I decided to pursue a BSc (Nursing) course from a women's college," Santy said. "After I graduated, I spent close to 12 years in the Gulf being a bedside nurse. I then returned to India to do my MSc (Nursing)." During her stint in the Middle East, Santy married Sajan Neeliyanickal, an acquaintance from school. They had kept in touch and acquaintance had grown to love. For six years while she was in the Gulf, Santy kept in touch with her sweetheart — long distance — until her husband moved there. 

After returning to India, Santy joined Columbia Asia as a nurse manager in 2004. But she was always 'troubled' by a higher calling. "I didn't want to live out life as a nurse," Santy said. "I always wanted to head a hospital someday, preferably Columbia Asia." 

She began putting her dream into action. After leaving Columbia Asia, Santy moved to the US to do a PhD in nursing. She also completed an MBA in Medicine from Johns Hopkins University. No part of the journey was easy though. Her husband, who is in the business of health and fitness clubs, was a major driving force, while her son Ryan, now 13, also had to make sacrifices. 

"It was our dream and we lived it out together," she said. "We achieved it as a family. I funded my studies by doing part-time jobs and taking education loans. When I was doing my MBA, classes used to go on till 9 pm. My son used to do his homework in my college cafeteria and we used to return home together after classes. The only long holiday I've taken is maternity leave." 

Today, in a perfect suit, Santy manages the four floors of the hospital, running up and down the stairs at least 10 times daily.

She has 220 employees and 80 doctors under her charge and takes care ofrecruitments, accounts and assessments. Her strong belief in her capabilities paid off. 
 She wakes up at 4 am and hits the gym before doing her household chores. She is usually in the hospital until 8 pm. 

She is still very aware of her roots. "Nurses are the backbone of any hospital, but what is missing is dignity of labour. In the US, most hospitals are run by nurses, but in our country there is little regard for the profession. I am still a nurse at heart and will never forget that compassion and care that the profession imbibes in you. But I think nurses should explore the plethora of opportunities before them. No job is menial and every profession needs to be looked on with respect." 

Nine Steps to Dealing With Negativity

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it."

You may be in daily interaction with negative people, be they friends, family members, a romantic partner or colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can't just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is eating away at you. What can you do?

The best way of dealing with life's challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.

Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don't have, what you feel or don't feel. Once you do so, you'll become a victim of circumstance, and instead of using your time and energy to beat life's challenges, you'll sink to a dark and miserable place. 

Here are 9 smart, positive and effective ways of dealing with the negativity of the people close to you:

1. Give up the need to complain.

Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood. Don't go complaining that other people's negativity is affecting you, because it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to make yourselves feel better and change the existing situation.

"Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in futile efforts."
Samuel Johnson. 

2. Similarity Attracts

Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and if we want to or not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our internal state. Ask yourselves: "How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited, thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?"

You may find that you yourselves radiate misery to the environment and that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of yourselves.

3. Don't believe everything you think.

This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going? That affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your brain playing games with you?

Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and one it focuses on someone's negative qualities, it'll be very hard to get it to see the positive side of things. It doesn't mean it's not there.

4. Focus.

Ask yourselves: "Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am I able to see their good qualities?"

Let the answers come naturally, make sure you are being honest with yourselves.

If you feel like you're insistent and won't change the way you are looking at people and situations, don't give yourselves a hard time. This takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you'll make this step. Remember, we all have good in us.

"It's so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to do it."
Annie Gottlier.

5. Don't make their problems YOUR problems.

For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their problems and becoming negative about them yourselves. If you want to cure negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won't help, just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns. Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.

6. Taking ownership.

Instead of being a victim and judge, blame and pass criticism, you need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a different approach.

"Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." Carl Jung.

Don't waste your time obsessing and thinking: "They are ruining my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my own..." Instead, say to yourselves: "How can I use this for my advantage? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I improve the situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative energy? What do I learn from all of this?"

7. Come with your own positive energy.

Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the other way around is also true. Focus on making yourselves happy enough that you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away from it. 

Remember, energy is contagious. 

How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life and the world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially.

If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the opposite is also true, and you'll be able to hopefully 'wake up' your fellow workers. You can't focus on them both at the same time, so choose - happiness or misery.

8. Be part of the change you'd like to see.

The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep inside. 

Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a merry life, that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness...

We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to change the world. 

Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well, and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain.

Flow with life events, don't resist them, live in harmony and be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others."Wayne W. Dyer.

9. Awareness and acceptance

Work on understanding life's inevitable duality - accept the negative with the good.

Don't harp on people's negativity, don't judge or fight them. Let them be, look and accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you are, deep inside.

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others." Carl Jung.

Source :http://www.ba-bamail.com/