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Sunday, January 13, 2013

Delhi Gang Rape case and Safety Tips to women


It will take a long time to forget the tragic incident of Delhi Gang rape which  shook all of the human beings 

I give below in brief  the gory incident of gang rape of the 23 year old female and the assault of 
the girl and her male companion by the criminals who raped her.:
2012 Delhi gang rape case

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A female physiotherapy intern was beaten and gang raped in Delhi on 16 December 2012, 
and died thirteen days later while undergoing emergency treatment in Singapore for 
brain and gastrointestinal damage from the assault. After watching a film in South Delhi 
in the early evening, she and a male companion boarded a bus, which was being driven 
as an unauthorized "joyride", thinking it was a public bus. The only other passengers on 
the bus were five men who were friends of the driver . All six, including the driver, 
were charged in connection with the assaults and have been arrested.
She was taken to Safdarjang Hospital, received multiple surgeries, and was placed on 
mechanical ventilation. On 26 December, she was moved to Singapore for further 
treatment, where she died on 29 December.
The incident has generated international coverage and was condemned by the
United Nations Entity for Gender Equality and the Empowerment of Women, who 
called on the Government of India and the Government of Delhi "to do everything 
in their power to take up radical reforms, ensure justice and reach out with robust 
public services to make women’s lives more safe and secure". Public protests took 
place in Delhi, where thousands of protesters clashed with security forces. Similar
 protests took place in major cities throughout the country.
                                                Protest by women against Rape

This is not the only case,we come across news of such rape incidents 
daily which are taking place throughout India.
I share below the contents of an email received by me which highlight  the preventive steps to be taken by women who have to face such anti social elements.

Through a rapist's eyes! 

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.




4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL....

I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: 


The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans: if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side, peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB).

b. If you! U are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard /policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Share this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Pent Up Emotions




Feelings that are not expressed get stored inside where they become destructive...Dr. Bernie S. Siegel

We do not normally differentiate between emotions and feelings. There is a view that ‘feeling’ is the response part of ‘emotion’. That is, emotion includes, in addition to feeling, perception and interpretation of it also. Many authors use these words interchangeably. When you experience an emotion physically and mentally, it means that you ‘feel it’.

(i)                  Fleeting Emotions: Emotions influence thought and action; and also are influenced by our thought and action. In day-to-day life we experience hundreds of quickly disappearing emotions. Most of them are insignificant as they do not stay in mind for more than a moment. Such fleeting emotions do not matter much.

While traveling in train we see many things. We see a calf running playfully and recklessly towards the train. For a moment we experience deep concern. Within a few seconds the calf takes a turn and joins its mother cow. We again experience a fleeting relief. That is all; both the emotions of concern and relief become forgotten matters and some other things command our attention. They are just like cinema slides getting replaced by one another fast.

(ii)                 Passing Emotions: We experience such emotions and also give some expression to them. Some feeling crops up but soon dies away. We find no need to retain the cause of that experience in mind. We move on to the next subject and hardly come back to think about it.

The coffee-vendor by mistake drops the cup and a few drops fall on your feet and pants. Anger wells up in your mind and you look at him sharply and say “Are you sleeping while working?” He looks at you apologetically and says, “Sorry Sir, It just slipped from my hands.” Your anger subsides in the same speed in which it emerged and you say, “It is all right. Be careful.”

The next day, when your wife may enquire, “What happened to your pants?” and you may remember this incident and tell her about it as a matter of fact. But that would be the end of it. 

(iii)                Staying Emotions: The incidents causing such emotions may be small or big. That is, externally, they may have left a lasting effect or not; some emotions would give roots and stay. They may also deepen with the passage of time.

A woman co-passenger, while passing your seat, dashes her bag against your face. Instead of owning her mistake and apologizing, she shouts at you in a loud voice, “Can’t you sit in your seat without obstructing the path? You seem to have no consideration that the train belongs to the public! Are you not supposed to behave better, especially when there are lady co-passengers?” Her voice is so loud and audacious that other passengers start looking at you. Being the one not accustomed to unreasonable behavior, you become frozen and are not in a position even to reply her. You feel humiliated. You are also profoundly offended. The lady has left the scene and you are sitting there motionless and deeply hurt.

The train has moved. That woman is gone forever. You are not going to meet her hereafter. But the mixed feeling of hurt, anger and humiliation is going to stay in your mind. It would give rise to a number of internal discussions. You would be saying to yourself the things which you would like to have said but left unsaid!

If left unchecked, whenever you get some leisure, this incident would be re-enacted in your mind. Your grudge would gain more and more strength and ferocity; you would even be killing her in your imagination but your negative feeling would never vanish.

In this case, you did not get any opportunity to give expression to your negative feelings by way of weeping, scowling, shouting, laughing and so on; nor did you let the incident go from your mind by conscious action of forgiving or ignoring.

Such pent-up feelings are like severe poison. We should never allow them to stay in our minds as they are likely to adversely affect our physical and mental health. The adverse effects of pent-up negative emotions like fear, anger or revenge on body are being realized greater day by day.

We should remember that no negative feeling can stay and sustain itself if we do not support it by our repeated thoughts. It is here, one’s ability to control his thoughts becomes very relevant. We should learn to get rid of such feelings by completely starving them of supportive thoughts.

The Karma Siddhantha of the Hindus is very helpful under these circumstances. “All are going to experience the fruits of their deeds, without any exception. Nobody can escape from this divine rule. That woman will be made to suffer for her arrogance and misdeed by God. Why should I remember her at all? I did not do anything against her and God knows it.” – This line of thinking would help us forget her once for all. This is actually one step easier than the usually proposed method of forgiving. Here the position is the affected person thinks, “Who am I to forgive her or punish her? My part is only performing my dharma properly during my lifetime.”

Whether you forgive her or forget her or do both, the most important thing is that you should not nourish the memory of that incident and the negative feelings created by it, by repeated thoughts. In this nobody else can help you. Only you can remove or release your negative feelings.

The famous Tamil poet Thiruvalluvar has said: Nandri marappathu nandrandru; nandrallathu andre marappathu nandru. (It is not good to forget good things; it is good to forget the bad things then and there. -  Thirukkural 108)

Let us remember that we should maintain a healthy thought-flow in our minds. Mental stagnation is bad, especially when it relates to negative emotions. It is better to release them by giving expression to them in some form; if it is not possible or advisable we should forget them once for all.

References
1.   Prescriptions for Living (1998) by Bernie S. Siegel, M.D.(ISBN: 0-06-019196-1)
2.   Emotions - How To Understand, Identify Release Your Emotions by Mary Kurus        


Courtesy: Mr. K S Venkataraman






Wednesday, January 2, 2013

An appeal against Drunk Driving


I want to post a message against Drunk driving as the first post in this New Year 2013.

Now a days the drunk driving is the fashion of the day on the eve of New Year and the persons driving two wheeler and four wheeler take the Law in their hands every year irrespective of the strong measures taken by the  Law enforcement agencies.

I give below  the extracts of some  reports from  News papers about Drunk driving:
The Times of India:
14% jump in drunk driving cases on New Year's Eve
MUMBAI: Mumbaikars - particularly a callous section of the citizenry - don't seem to have learnt a lesson despite the mindless tragedies on road, the sustained campaign by the police and the media, frequent nakabandis and stricter punishments. 

On New Year's Eve, 840 cases of drunk drivingwere recorded by the Mumbai police. It is almost a 14% jump over the 739 cases registered on the same night last year. 

On the outskirts of the city, 688 cases were recorded: 301 in Thane, 175 in Navi Mumbai, 110 in Kalyan and 102 in the Mira-Bhayander-Vasai stretch. 

Police officials, who manned the roads till 6am, said they are stunned. 

After the numerous awareness campaigns, they were hoping the number of driving under influence (DUI) cases would drop. 

"The highest number of offenders was held from the east region (277), followed by the west region (181), the north region (168), the central region (118) and the least in the south region (96)," said additional commissioner Brijesh Singh. 

Business Standard
Man sentenced to five days in jail for drunk driving
Press Trust of India / New Delhi January 02, 2013, 17:45


A man has been sentenced to five days in jail for driving in an inebriated state with a Delhi court saying that his act could have endangered the lives of not only to people on the road but to his life as well.
Dismissing North West Delhi resident Deepak Yadav's appeal against the magisterial court order, which had also imposed a fine of Rs 2,000 on him, Additional Sessions Judge Yashwant Kumar directed that he be taken into custody to serve the jail term.

"Now-a-days, the road accidents are happening due to drunken driving. The quantity of alcohol was found very high after the test conducted by the breath analyser which is much beyond the permissible limit...Which could have been no doubt dangerous and risky for the people on the roads and also to the accused at that time," the ASJ said.
Yadav had moved the sessions court against the magisterial court's October  30, 2012 decision convicting and sentencing him to five days in jail for drunken driving in North West Delhi.

During the trial, the accused told the court that he had pleaded guilty to the offence before the trial court as he was under the impression that only a fine will be imposed upon him and not the jail term.
He deposed before the ASJ that the order of the magistrate should be set aside as he was unable to get any proper legal assistance.

The court, however, dismissed his arguments saying that the accused had voluntarily pleaded guilty before the trial court.

Guardian Media
Man charged with drunk driving as two killed in vehicular accident

Published: 
Sunday, December 30, 2012


Two people are dead following a vehicular accident on Friday night, and a WASA employee has been charged for drunk driving in connection with the tragic incident. Dead are Hassim Ramjohn, 52, of Boundary Road, Felicity, and Katmalie Rampersad, 59, of Chatoorie Street Extension, Felicity.  

The two were occupants in a Toyota Corolla driven by Jagdeo Rampersad along the Uriah Butler Highway, when around 11 pm in the vicinity of the Chase Village Fly Over, the Corolla was struck from the back by a blue Ford Ranger, driven by a man in his 30s from Chaguanas. Ramjohn, an employee of the Ministry of Works and Infrastructure, died on the spot, while Rampersad, a housewife, succumbed to her injuries at the Eric Williams Medical Sciences Complex.

The driver of the Ford Ranger was administered the breathalyser by the Freeport police and failed the test. He has since been charged for driving under the influence of alcohol. Police said they are awaiting the outcome of the autopsy. They said based on the findings the driver may be charged for the deaths of the Felicity duo


The above reports clearly indicate that there is increase of  driving by persons under the influence of alcohol which causes very serious accidents sometimes killing others and also the driver.

It is high time to introduce severe punishments including cancellation of driving licence of such persons.

I give below a heart touching poem against drunk driving and wish that a day must come with the least number if not Nil drunk driving.




I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.


I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

(Author-Not known)