Steps for Dealing With Negativity

You may be in daily interaction with negative people, be they friends, family members, a romantic partner or colleague. You love them, you care about them, you can't just cut them out of your life, but they are negative and their negativity is eating away at you. What can you do?

The best way of dealing with life's challenges is to take a good look at ourselves and take responsibility for what we think, feel and do.

Never give your power away by blaming others for what you have or don't have, what you feel or don't feel. Once you do so, you'll become a victim of circumstance, and instead of using your time and energy to beat life's challenges, you'll sink to a dark and miserable place. 

Here are 9 smart, positive and effective ways of dealing with the negativity of the people close to you:

1. Give up the need to complain.

Make sure you are taking responsibility for your feelings and mood. Don't go complaining that other people's negativity is affecting you, because it will only create more negativity. Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings and see what you can do to make yourselves feel better and change the existing situation.

"Whoever has limited knowledge of human nature and seeks happiness by changing everything but his own attitude, will waste his life in futile efforts."Samuel Johnson. 

2. Similarity Attracts

Good brings about good, bad brings about bad, and if we want to or not, we pull into our lives events, situations and people that reflect our internal state. Ask yourselves: "How am I feeling? Am I happy, excited, thankful and calm? Or am I anxious, frustrated and judgmental?"

You may find that you yourselves radiate misery to the environment and that part of the negative energy surrounding you is in fact a reflection of yourselves.

3. Don't believe everything you think.

This is definitely one of the hardest things to learn. Look closely at the negative people in your life. What is it about them that gets you going? That affects you so much? Is what they are doing really that bad or is your brain playing games with you?

Remember, the brain is configured to look for trouble, and one it focuses on someone's negative qualities, it'll be very hard to get it to see the positive side of things. It doesn't mean it's not there.

4. Focus.

Ask yourselves: "Am I ready to find the good in these people? Am I able to see their good qualities?"

Let the answers come naturally, make sure you are being honest with yourselves.

If you feel like you're insistent and won't change the way you are looking at people and situations, don't give yourselves a hard time. This takes time and patience, and when you are ready, you'll make this step. Remember, we all have good in us.

"It's so hard when I NEED to do it and so easy when I WANT to do it."
Annie Gottlier.

5. Don't make their problems YOUR problems.

For their sake and yours, make sure you are not adopting their problems and becoming negative about them yourselves. If you want to cure negativity, sliding down right along with the negative person won't help, just make it worse by validating their thought and behavioral patterns. Rather, focus on solutions, not problems. Offer that and nothing else.

6. Taking ownership.

Instead of being a victim and judge, blame and pass criticism, you need to take full responsibility for your thoughts and feelings, and take a different approach.

"Everything that annoys us in others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves." 
Carl Jung.

Don't waste your time obsessing and thinking: "They are ruining my energy, making me miserable, their negative energy is infecting my own..." Instead, say to yourselves: "How can I use this for my advantage? Is there something I'm doing wrong? How can I improve the situation and increase my positive energy to be stronger than their negative energy? What do I learn from all of this?"

7. Come with your own positive energy.

Focusing on negative energy cannot create positive energy, and the other way around is also true. Focus on making yourselves happy enough that you have great positive energy, and you will see the negativity cringing away from it. 

Remember, energy is contagious. 

How to put up positive energy? Focus on the things you like about the negative people, focus on things you love about yourselves, life and the world around you. Think of loved ones, of things that make you happy. That way, you will increase the positive energy exponentially.

If you incur negative energy by thinking about bad things, the opposite is also true, and you'll be able to hopefully 'wake up' your fellow workers. You can't focus on them both at the same time, so choose - happiness or misery.

8. Be part of the change you'd like to see.

The world is no more than a reflection of who we are, deep inside. 

Try to go for a feeling of well-being, to live a positive life, a merry life, that has love, trust, and the pursuit of happiness...

We cannot change others, but only ourselves. This is the only way to change the world. 

Think of it this way: When you are happy, the world seems happy, and the sky is open and blue. When you are sad, the world seems sad as well, and the sky is grey and uncaring, leaving you alone to deal with your pain.

Flow with life events, don't resist them, live in harmony and be the change you wish to see in the world.

"Never underestimate your power to change yourself. Never overestimate your power to change others." - Wayne W. Dyer.

9. Awareness and acceptance

Work on understanding life's inevitable duality - accept the negative with the good.

Don't harp on people's negativity, don't judge or fight them. Let them be, look and accept. Remember, your world is no more real than a reflection of who you are, deep inside.

"Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of others." |
Carl Jung.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it." 

Tips for Long and Happy Life

Dr. Shigeaki Hinohara, Japan, turned 101 last year. As a 97 year old Doctor, he was interviewed, and gave his advice for a long and healthy life.

Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing.

He has published around 15 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara's main points for a long and happy life: 

* Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

* All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender share one thing in common: None are overweight. For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it. Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and, twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat.

* Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics!

* There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100...

* Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

* When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

* To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

* My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler." My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

* Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

* Don't be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

* Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St. Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

* Science alone can't cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

* Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist League-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four days handcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

* Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at Duke University in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

* It's wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

Inventions You Never Knew You Needed

Sometimes, new inventions and gadgets come along which makes us say “Why did no one think of that before?!”   1. The Modular Power Splitter Some manufacturers combine the power chord with a transformer and make it too bulky and a space-hog, but with the modular power-splitter, that’s a problem for the past. Sockets can be added and removed as needed, and best of all, they swivel – solving all of your bulky connector issues!

2. The Rotating Bench It just rained and you want to take a stroll in the park to enjoy the cool, crisp air. You decide to sit down and take in the view, but you forgot – it just rained and now your bottom is all wet… Not if your city installed these rotating benches! Simply twist the handle on the side and move the wet part down, replacing it with a nice, dry seat!

3. The Coffee-Holder Umbrella Nothing beats a hot coffee on a cold, rainy morning! You also need an umbrella, and your bag/suitcase, but we only have 2 hands. So instead of fumbling about, possibly pouring coffee all over yourself, use this umbrella and keep your coffee (and yourself) nice and dry!

4. The Armrest Table You got home, made yourself a cup of coffee or a soda, and now you want to sit on the sofa and relax, but the coffee table is not easily reachable and you can’t leave the cup on the armrest… Or can you? This simple, yet ingenious solution makes your armrest into a mini table!

5. The Gulping Yolkfish If you like to bake, you know separating yolks and egg whites is not a fun task, that is, unless you have the Gulping Yolkfish! It works like a baster – you crack all your eggs into a bowl, then let the Yolkfish safely “swallow” the yolk.

6. Lego Key Holder When I saw this one, I was surprised no one thought of it sooner! No more dangerous hooks that can take your eye out or snag and rip your clothes! Simply hand the Lego holder on the wall, attach the small bit to your keychain and you’re done! Easy, Simple to use and a fun conversation starter!

7. Pasta Measurer Have you ever had the displeasure of making dinner, only to discover you eyeballed it incorrectly and didn’t make enough pasta? Say goodbye to such incidents, because with the Pasta Measurer you know exactly how much you’re making! (Especially if you’re going to feed a horse…)

8. The Pasta Fork And if we’re discussing Pasta – Don’t you just hate it when you scoop up pasta, only to have it slide off of the fork? This brilliant pasta fork is your solution; its unique shape keeps the pasta where it needs to be – on the way to your mouth!

9. Mirror Windshield Wiper Foggy mirrors are an annoyance; If you use your hand, it’ll leave splotches on the mirror. If you use a towel, it can leave lint on there, and you’re stuck with a cold, wet towel. What you need is the Mirror Windshield Wiper! Simply stick it on the mirror, give it a swipe, and enjoy the view!

10. Ring & Bottle Opener Combo This was probably designed with frat boys in mind, but it’s still a clever idea! It looks like a stylish (if manly) ring that, with a twist – becomes a compact bottle opener. Neat!

11. The Mug Lock If you’re like me – you don’t like using “public” mugs, and probably brought your own from home. But what if you leave it to dry and someone else at work decides to use it? This is where the Mug-Lock comes in handy: Wash your mug, take the lockable cork out and now no one will be able to use your mug!

12. Traffic Timer This should replace all traffic lights! With the traffic timer, you know exactly when the light will turn. This reduces stress and prevents speeding or people getting distracted and stuck at the light.

13. Universal Gift Wrapper A wrapping paper for every occasion? Yes indeed! Wrap the gift and mark the appropriate greeting (or greetings). Bonus: the recipient will love it too!

14. The Babystroller-Scooter For the parent on the go! Use the scooter/stroller to whisk about your day quickly, and in style! Just be sure to buckle your baby and ride carefully!

15. No Tears Baby Umbrella Babies’ eyes are very sensitive, even the no-tears shampoo can irritate them. If you’re expecting, or just had a baby, you should consider getting this gadget! It’s so simply designed, yet incredibly effective and comfortable for your baby to use. And best of all – no more crying!

Amazon 16. Umbrella Bag We need our umbrellas in winter, but once the rain stops or we walk indoors, they become a hassle. The Inside Out Umbrella solves this by transforming into a small bag which also catches all the water drops left on the umbrella.

17. The Cat Crib If you love your cat (and I’m sure you do), you can now turn every chair and small table in the house into a comfy hammock your cat would love to stay in. And best of all – it saves space and keeps much of that loose cat fur off of your furniture!

18. The  Catable With holes and tunnels spanning the inside of this table – it becomes the ultimate cat playground and hiding spot. If you have cats at home, consider replacing your old coffee table with this one…

19. A Place For Everything This dresser makes forgetting where your socks and undies are impossible! With drawers shaped exactly like the piece of clothing they hold – you’ll never dig through the wrong drawer again!

20. The Ironboard Mirror If you like your clothes crease-free, you need to iron them, but keeping an ironing board in the house means you need a special place to store it. With the Iron Board Mirror, you no longer have to compromise on space! Use it as a mirror in your day-to-day life, and turn it around and into an ironing board when you need to.

21. The ScrapTrap Cutting vegetables and fruit can be messy as it is, and the leftovers are annoying to get rid of (to say the least), but if you start using the ScrapTrap – all you need to do is push it all back into the trap and continue working, and once you’re done – simply empty it into the trash!

22. Biolite Biolite is an ingenious idea! It’s a small wood-burning stove that produces electricity. If you love camping, get your Biolite and use it to both keep warm, as well as charge your phone or music player.

23. Glow In The Dark Toilet Rim Last but not least – the ultimate solution for visiting the toilet at night! We all had to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet. When you get there, you probably don’t want to put on the light, as it will wake you up and make it harder to go back to sleep once you’re done. Instead, why not install the toilet rim light? It absorbs light during the day and releases it at nighttime. It’s not electric and it’s guaranteed to work for a long, long time!

Source:http://www.ba-bamail.com/